Your Occasional Butterfly Internet Negativity Collage #1: Botanic Garden
by Ellen Redbird

Overall, there’s just nothing much—
a brown, barren, boring canyon or
an overgrown, under-tended backyard.
It’s basically a few paths in woods and a dried-out river bed—
no water flowing—just rocks, twigs, bugs, etc.
And there aren’t even any flowers!
It’s like any place in the valley, with grass and a bunch of other plants
that are not exotic in any shape or form.
Just native Californian plants.
Most of the flowers can be found on any California hillside.
If you wanna see weeds and chill with old folks,
if you wanna get really tired on a mile-long hike (I did it in flip-flops),
and if you’re local to the area, I suppose it’s ok.
I’m not really a fan of flowers.

For the price I paid to get in, I am disappointed
it only took an hour to finish everything.
It’s not even a long walk.
There is nothing to look at.
Not only is there no one, even the flowers are dead.
I am telling you we walked for two miles,
around and around,
looking for something alive.
There are a lot of rich people in the area—ask them for support!

I don’t know if it was just a bad time of year for gardens,
but this place was dead, literally.
Even in drought you can recycle water for a beautiful garden.
I don’t know why people are impressed by this,
but maybe they aren’t outdoorists and don’t get out much.
If you are not from here,
then I suppose you will like this place.

Need some shopping therapy after the let-down of the garden?
This place should be free.
There was no one at the entrance so we just walked right in,
but then the path becomes unpaved with
roots and stones sticking out in all directions.
It’s the biggest waste of $10 in your life.
Maybe I’m just jaded, but
I slipped a lot of times…which I didn’t expect would happen.
My experience was very underwhelming!
The walk here is like a troll in a forest at best.

This institution cries out for a benefactor.
It’s more dirt than anything else, and full
of couples making out, holding hands.
Don’t expect anything even near photogenic.
There is nothing really special that makes it memorable
except majestic redwoods and a large boulder for taking some great photos.
I went there looking for some ideas but found none.

Nothing about this park is anything close to botanic.
They should look up the meaning of the word, seriously.
Botanic garden is false advertisement,
a prevalent issue in our consumerist world.
It is NOT the same botanic garden I grazed upon
in the website photos—apparently
even natural beauties like botanic gardens
fall victim to being presented in a false light.

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See Statement for more about the series.